Expectations

Prospects or hopes of success or gain is a definition of expectations. I recently read the final school newspaper from my senior year in High School. There was a section that asked some of the students where did they see theirselves in ten years. It amazes me how confident some of my peers were back then. I don't remember what my answer was, but I probably said I would be rich and in the NBA. That was the only career I wanted as a seventeen year old. No matter what we want to happen in life, it won't manifest unless we put in the work. I didn't have the slightest idea of what it took to become a professional basketball player. I was so naive, I just knew that I loved the sport and I wanted to play. I got accepted to Michigan State as a student not an athlete. I tried out for the men's basketball team as a walk-on and I didn't make it. Shortly after , I ended up coming home and dropping out completely. It wasn't even a big deal to the people around me. Just being able to say I attended MSU was enough for everyone, including myself at the time. I am so glad I didn't complete my college education. As dumb as that sounds, allow me to explain. In school I was never taught to follow my strenghts and passions. I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted to be in the future. Here I am twenty-five years old and sure that all I want to be is the best version of myself. We've all been marginalized to fit into these catergories that society deems useful. Fulfilling everyone's expectations but our own. I am in no way knocking anyone's profession. Neither am I saying that a college education isn't important. I just feel that finding out who you are and what you want is the most important part of the learning experience. My advice to others would be to not get so caught up in pleasing others that you forget about yourself. Set the expectations for your life and put in the necessary work to meet them.

What are you afraid of?

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. Too many of us never realize our full potential because our fears block us. There are only two fears that we are born with; one is the fear of falling and the other is the fear of a loud sound. All other fears are learned. Fear is an emotion, and like any mere emotion it can be controlled. The definition of fear is to be afraid of. All human brings have been confronted with fear various times. My biggest observation of fear is the facade people put up to mask it. Have you ever seen someone try to act tough to the point where they're embarrassing theirselves? What about people who play it safe in life? The fear of failure can cause people to not take any risks. The fear of failure is a learned one as is the fear of success. These are two of the most crippling things that we must deal with in life. When you live timidly,  you limit yourself tremendously. I'm not suggesting that everyone should go sky diving or bungie jumping. Or spend your life's savings on a bad investment, but try to live a little. Set goals, fall short, aim higher and keep pushing. The more I live , the more I realize that life is meant to be experienced and not just survived. I'll admit things can seem so overwhelming that doubt and fear will creep up. The counter to fear is faith. You have to believe in you! God will back you up if you believe in God. I see so many people with limitless potential letting it go to waste, myself included. My neighborhood is full of people living their lives timidly. Often were scared of what other people might think, scared to stand out. How many of us have lots of plans and goals that we just give up on? You have to trust in God, trust in yourself and have faith that you won't fail. Its time for people to be strong in faith, weak in fear and rooted in love. I encourage everyone to break away from the shackles of fear. Its never too late to live out your dreams , so go for it!

New Year's Eve

My dad's birthday is on January 1st so me and my big sister used to spend New Year's Eve with him.  When my grandma was alive we would have big family parties every year. We were young but we always had a ball. Eating all types of food and drinking Welch's sparkling juice lol. I looked forward to this time just because we were guaranteed to have a lot of fun. After my dad's mom passed, the parties stopped. My dad started going out hanging with the adult crowd to celebrate. My mom started making me and my big sister stay home. I hated it, we weren't around all of our family. We all just sat in our rooms separate from each other. I just thought my mom wanted to stop our fun. What she wanted was to be around her children.  She wanted to make sure we were safe and we always were in her presence. She wanted to have the love of her kids around to bring in the New Year. I would give my all just to spend another New Year's Eve with my queen.  I wish I could sit in the house with her and hear her voice. I wouldn't mind just being able to see her again even if no words were spoken. For years I beat myself up mentally, because I didn't cherish the time we had together.  Now on this day I rather be alone, to reflect. Its my way of being at home with my queen again. Its painful for me to even type this. I just hope that the man I'm becoming is making her proud. If you have your parents in your life cherish them. Cherish all of your loved ones. We never know when someone's timeon this earth will be up. Happy New Year!

Death over Designer

This has been such a hot topic all over black america lately. Young men have been losing their lives at an alarming rate over material posessions. I'm from Detroit and cartier glasses are sought after in my hometown. All the dope boys wear them, its their way of showing they have money. I've actually heard females say the glasses makes dudes look better. People who sell drugs know the consequences of their activities, they understand that being flashy is dangerous. It's the average person who has no idea. So they just try to emulate the style of the dope man. I remember being a naive nineteen year old. I had purchased a pair of cartiers and I argued with my aunt about wearing them. She felt I shouldn't wear them, but I said I refused to be afraid of getting robbed. I didn't fully comprehend how serious this issue was. A few years later I turned on the news and heard about a young father being murdered in a robbery attempt,  he refused to give up something he worked hard to purchase. A pair of glasses cost this man his life. This isn't the only time this type of tragedy has happened. I know people who have been robbed for a pair of true religion jeans. Its crazy how something you wear can actually cost you so much. Lately the media have been covering people going through torture to buy a pair of jordans. There aren't enough pairs made for everyone to purchase, so it creates a frenzy. I've seen people camped out overnight just to get a chance to buy the shoes. Not everyone who waits gets the shoes, so there ends up being a lot of angry customers. The people who do get their shoes aren't always safe. It's tough to make it home after they secure their purchase. There are literally people gunning for these shoes. Think about it, shoes are more valued than a human being's life. It makes me question what is really going on! Why doesn't nike make enough pairs? Why can't jordan himself speak out about this madness? Why do blacks associate self-worth with material possesions? Why do so many people unconciously choose death over designer?

Individuality

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Everyday people struggle to recognize who they really are. So who are you? What do you see when you look at yourself? Where do you see yourself going in life? What does your life mean? What things do you love about yourself? I ask these questions because nobody asked me these things growing up. Nobody asked me where I wanted to be in five years. It didn't matter because I was always stuck worrying about the present. So when I went on job interviews, I had very little to say. When people asked me to tell a little about myself, often I sat in silence. All this came from not knowing who I was.  I'm from a rough neighborhood. I grew up on blocks infested with guns, drugs and violence. Although I rarely took part in any of it, I seen it everyday. I identified with the things I saw everyday, it became acceptable. I knew that my life was greater than my surroundings and circumstances, but I didn't see a way out . I often wondered why God protected me from the many temptations and bad things going on around me. I always felt the need to resist but I didn't know why. From an early age, I understood that I wasn't meant to blend in. My life wasn't created for me to be normal. God made me to stand out. I was placed here today to tell you that you're meant to stand out also. You won't always get the response you would like, if you choose not to follow the crowd. I've been called so many names I lost count, but I didn't care. My own "friends" called me soft. When people were following the crowd, I always went the other way.  I had the characteristics of a leader, but I didn't know. I feel like now its my purpose to help others recognize the greatness that lies within them. We aren't meant to be followers, but everyone isn't a leader either. Which one are you?