New Year's Eve

My dad's birthday is on January 1st so me and my big sister used to spend New Year's Eve with him.  When my grandma was alive we would have big family parties every year. We were young but we always had a ball. Eating all types of food and drinking Welch's sparkling juice lol. I looked forward to this time just because we were guaranteed to have a lot of fun. After my dad's mom passed, the parties stopped. My dad started going out hanging with the adult crowd to celebrate. My mom started making me and my big sister stay home. I hated it, we weren't around all of our family. We all just sat in our rooms separate from each other. I just thought my mom wanted to stop our fun. What she wanted was to be around her children.  She wanted to make sure we were safe and we always were in her presence. She wanted to have the love of her kids around to bring in the New Year. I would give my all just to spend another New Year's Eve with my queen.  I wish I could sit in the house with her and hear her voice. I wouldn't mind just being able to see her again even if no words were spoken. For years I beat myself up mentally, because I didn't cherish the time we had together.  Now on this day I rather be alone, to reflect. Its my way of being at home with my queen again. Its painful for me to even type this. I just hope that the man I'm becoming is making her proud. If you have your parents in your life cherish them. Cherish all of your loved ones. We never know when someone's timeon this earth will be up. Happy New Year!